In my experience, I oscillate between both positions; hugging a toilet and holding someone's hair.
Actually it was just 3ish weeks back in March when I was having one of those gorgeous exploratory conversations with a beautiful soul when she challenged me enough to shift my perception of what was playing out only to have a really interesting response to the discovery.
A mild panic attack followed by a hugging of the toilet.
The visceral reaction in me took me by surprise - I just had no idea that was in my unconscious - and the discovery of it by my conscious self - well in that moment, It threw me.
When the limiting belief is dug out and brought into the light - it changes expression. In my experience just 3ish weeks back - the need for me to hold back, to not be seen, and to play in a more discreet way felt aligned with who I was and what I needed then.
When the unconscious root was pulled into the light, what showed up next included:
Contacted my mentor and coach to book a 2-hour session to facilitate me and my new found limiting belief asap. I knew he would help me explore this blindspot to the degree that I could heal it, integrate it and become a more whole version of me inside 2hours. Job done.
Within the 48hrs that followed that session, my shannoneastman website went up, Invited To Play (this website finally) went up, and I re-aligned teach a brand to fish website to more authentically reflect the market I am here to serve and the areas I want to play in.
Inspiration emerged from within to sweat every day, eat clean, meditate and self care.
I had done a fair amount of those things already - they were not new - and yet what was new was the new level of flow I found myself in... the new desire to be in meaningful action, the new desire to do the work that matters to grow into the next iteration of me.
So I hold hair back for those hugging the toilet - and I myself hug the toilet.
The never ending spiral shaped ladder is a climb to self-actualisation. I have found that climb only really reveals itself to me, 3 feet at a time - which means I have to keep climbing into the abyss... to continue to see the path emerge before me.
And those unconscious roots - well, they are infinite - the infinite layers of the proverbial onion. Hah.